10:50 AM

Horror movies terrify me. I can barely make it through thriller and suspense, let alone true horror. The scary thing is that this is not a movie. Sure, movies try and depict the devil, but the real life devil is so much worse. 
he's beautiful, and he's powerful.

In a sermon about abiding in the word, John Piper said something like, 

"We have a supernatural adversary, the devil. he hates us. he hates our marriages. he hates our children. he hates our church. And he hates God. In ourselves, we are not as strong as he is. That is why John says that “the whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19). The world has no defense against
the devil. None." (Transcript by Chi Alpha Discipleship) 

There is a devil out there, and he does hate us! Doesn't that give you the shivers? Even though I have full faith in Jesus' victory, the thought of an enemy out there, in this room, reading over my shoulder right now, hating me...it scares me. You're lying if you say there is no part of you that is scared too. 

Lately, I've been doing great! I love interning in youth ministry, and I've been feeling really great about my relationship with God. Sure, I could do better, but I was feeling good about it, regardless. 

I find that whenever I'm feeling good, that's when he attacks. 

I have struggled with different degrees of anxiety and depression my whole life. he knows where my weaknesses are and where I hide my biggest insecurities. he uses those to make me spiral down in such bad anxiety that I fall into a mist of depression. 

This past Monday, I was having really bad anxiety over something I had to do. I was praying to God, pleading for Him to help me. I knew I shouldn't worry, but I was having a hard time letting go. I ended up going into the situation feeling great. I even called out to the enemy telling him that I was a warrior for Christ. No one could break me down. 

When I found myself in the situation, a chance to retreat came up. It was temptation. I was deceived to believe that God was giving me that chance out. I took that chance, and it failed me. I ended up having to do the thing I was so worried about. The chance to retreat was a trick. How foolish of me to think that after asking for God's will, that he would not give it to me generously. His will was for me to fight my fear, and I failed to be brave. 

Then, after realizing that I had been deceived, I felt guilty. The devil once again came to me and told me that I was a failure. Accusations. he continued to rub it in my face. 

By the end of the night, I got through it. I survived. I only made it through because I had God. He had not left my side. He wasn't the one who tempted me. He did not change. I was foolish, and I allowed myself to feel guilt, but looking back I know that I was under attack. 

And, I'm still under attack. I can feel myself struggling, but I refuse to allow the enemy in. 
That's why it is soooooooooooooo important to memorize scripture! I fail at this big time. I need to have God's word in me so that when I hear a voice I will know when it is God speaking to me. 

I don't capitalize "he" when speaking about the devil, because I don't believe that he deserves that respect. \
Don't let him capitalize himself in your life either. 


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  1. ABIDE, Gina, just keep on abidin'! Thinking about what you wrote, that's hella scary (pun intended) that the devil is looking over our shoulders just like Jesus, but with a scowl, not a smile.

    What's your best verse about abiding?

  2. Thanks for the encouragement! My favorite is probably...

    "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4

    It's a classic, and soooo true! :)


About me

Regina is a junior at a small college in the middle of nowhere. She dreams of moving to California, painting, writing letters, thrifting, and cuddling with a dog.

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